Our Beautiful "Roll of Butter"

So after a very well planned and relaxed labour, our little boy was born weighing and impressive 9lb 6 ozs at only 38 weeks gestation. He was huge!!! I will always remember my hubby staring down in complete awe at his son, instant love. Baby J was born and I now had my 2 beautiful boys. We absolutely adored him. I found the bonding process very difficult in the beginning, I don't think I ever let anybody know that at the time. It still baffles me as to why it took me so long to get that bond as he is my heart and soul and everything I live for. However we played and cared for him and he was a wonderful addition to our little family.

Baby J cried and screamed and cried for all of his first year. He cried as if he was in agony and we tried putting it down to his formula which was changed so many times I cannot remember. In the end I had to wean him before 16 weeks as he vomited everything else up. IT was one of the most stressful times in my life. He never seemed to smile for anyone only his dad and I. As he reached 6 months,there was no babbling or interaction. He didnt point at objects in wonder as my first son had. All he wanted to do was eat and play alone. we did everything to settle him at night and after a year he started to sleep quite well especially when we moved into a bigger house and he was given his own room. Soon he learned to walk but had an awful fall off my bed and broke his arm. I will never forget the screams of anxiety any time any stranger went near him in the hospital. The nurses didnt know what to make of him.

As a Special Needs Assistant with courses behind me and experience with so many kids, how did I not see the signs. Looking back I just thought I had been lucky with my first son and J was typical of a difficult child. On looking back all of these characteristics should have stood out a mile to me

• He had continuous massive tantrums over what to us would seem like nothing.
• He preferred to play alone.
• He would spend hours as a baby and young toddler staring at the television.
• He could not cope with different texture when eating.
• He dribbled all the time.
• He would spin and spin around the room and then laugh hysterically.
• He was PETRIFIED of certain noises.
• He would create associations with people and places which would determine his behaviour.
• He never smiled out of his buggy as a baby
• He love to spin the wheels of cars repeatedly rather than play with them
• He walked on his tip toes
• He had a high pitch scream when aggravated.
• He hated children.

But that was our little boy and we loved him dearly.

He had no speech bar a couple of words