The Literal Mind: speech and language therapy

....Caring!

The one thing that was stressed to me when going through the assessment process with J is that a characteristic of Autism was a lack of empathy. "Empathy" relates to sympathy with the feelings of other people. There is a natural tendency of people to mimic others in their bahaviour. Thus if one person laughs, it is more likely that other people within earshot will laugh. The same occurs with sadness. Empathy comes to play because sadness is not just tears but an entire set of circumstances. This is an area that J really struggled with. His brother would fall and dramatically declare his leg was falling off or dad might stub his toe, screaming obscenities and blasphemies or perhaps I would be lying under an illness surrounded by mountains of Aldi's best impression of kleenex . There was nothing from J. His day was his routine, his possessions and his world. Our facial expressions were lost on him, the screams of pain were hilarious to him .

So did that mean that he has no feelings. In my understanding, no. He has the same feelings as anyone else. I think if you don't know about an event, you have no feelings about it. So to use an absurd example, you would have no qualms about running over an invisible man.

He just cant read our faces. He doesnt presume....he doesnt do cryptic or play guessing games. J seemed to not give a monkeys about anyone around him and oh how we were so wrong.

I must give credit where its due. School has thought J how to play with peers through role play games. This play has totally turned my sons character and perception around. I dont know if it was the repetitive nature or the fact that it was with other little kiddies with the same issues but he is a totally different child. Kids with autism have more complex language and social complications which is why the play is so essential. Pretend play, more importantly, provides a child like J the opportunity to engage in role modeling which promoted his expressive language based on perception.

They play games where one has hurt themselves in the playground. "Oh no!!! What will we do?". This was J's favourite one for a while but of course he eventually believed that he had indeed had a horrific mishap in school and he HAD to wear a plaster on his leg and could not understand why nobody would call an ambulance. I suppose that's another hurdle with ASD that you meet. You want them to pretend and play but also realise that it is indeed play and not reality. Its that old gem of introducing a "gray area". This whole confusion created numerous meltdowns. We are still working on that.

Ok , ok back to topic...the caring is what I was trying to focus in on. We expect nothing in this house in the lines of sympathy or empathy from J. Anyway we are his mom and dad...we care for him and surely thats all that matter......for crikeys sake he is only 4 after all.

That was until 2 weeks ago as I lay on the couch convinced I had 17 variations of swine, bird and old man flu with a touch of foot and mouth (turned out to be a head cold), feeling very sorry for myself, I felt something at my leg.

"You ok mom....I rub you leg .....I call the doctor.....youre very kind mom....I am a big boy now"

.....and then he walked away to the television and went straight back into the "Garfield zone".

And that was it. Appropriate, engaged, loving, caring...and cool as a breeze! Yet there I was bawling and bursting with pride (sounds graphic!)

I am a great lover of Temple Grandin's lectures and observations regarding autism. She has taught me so much. Seriously....google her and have a look on youtube at her lectures. That day I saw something I had been reading about for so long.

"You have got to keep autistic children engaged with the world. You cannot let them tune out." T. Grandin

All the work had paid off. These children are not cold or locked in. They just need to be taught and guided in how to read a perceive the world around them. Even if not especially the individuals high on the spectrum. We take that aspect of understanding and communication so much for granted. We expect them to know how to show whats going on in their wonderful minds. Although they are essential, its not just about the endless hours of speech and language therapy and occupational therapy. I love to hear my boys play "house". Our play at home is all about pretending. It is so much fun. I love being that big kid again and I cant even imagine how our baby C will benefit from it too even at only 6 months. He is always included in the game.

"I am also a believer in an integrated treatment approach to autism." T. Grandin

Never in a million years would I think that J would be where he is today. The right school, friends and the love, understanding and the willingness to learn about J and ASD (ooooh JASD....like jedward....sorry easily distracted....oh look a butterfly...) from our families has transformed a little boy who was so anxious, confused and unreasonable into a a total cuddlebug who is sociable and one of the coolest people I know.

AWEtism by Donna Cooper (no relation)
AWEtism Website

It’s spelled Wrong!!!!
A mistake has been made.
The word doctors and neurologist use to diagnose our children is autism.
But it should be AWEtism!!!
Just think…
AWE at my child’s progress. AWE at each accomplishment.
AWE that we’ve been blessed to be part of a miracle.
AWE to see God’s hand at work in my child’s life.
AWE to meet such wonderful people.
AWE for each little step in the right direction.
AWE for the love I never knew I had.
It’s not autism...It’s AWEtism!!

Oh my God I havent posted in so long. You must forgive me, so much has happened and I have had baby brain for at least a year now. Our 3rd beautiful boy was born on the 1st of June 2009. It has been CRAZY busy.

Well you have been keeping track of our progress with J. Here is what happened this year. In September the HSE brought a clinical psychologist in to assess and diagnose J. Her name was Dr Penny Rodgers. I had won my appeal against the HSE . Our J received a diagnosis of HFA (high functioning autism). Well what has happened since the diagnosis? He is still attending an ASD preschool in Ballyduff, Co. Waterford where he receives fantastic teaching, OT and SaLT. He how also has been granted transport. He is amazing. We face challenges every day. Life is never easy but always interesting. He now has a fantastic flow of speech and his social skills have sky rocketed.

Dyspraxia is now a major part of J's difficulties and a couple of months ago my husband and I had to rush to A&E after an awful fall fron the top of some stairs. He has so so many issues with coordination, gross and fine motor skills but OT work closely with him in school and I aim to get stuck into extra therapies very soon.

We are in such a different place now. At last we know what going on and the only way is up.

Once again i am being rudely interrupted by our fab new little boy, C.